THE LONGING…

 

It was so good to be in longing,

To have something to look forward to;

To hope for the D-day;

To be away and get lost in imagination.

It was

            As divine as moonlight;

            As colourful as rainbows;

            As pretty as flowers;

            As beautiful as butterflies;

            As soothing as green lush…

 

I would play it in my head over and over,

Each time a different version;

Each time a different circumstance;

But, nonetheless all happy & beautiful…

I would bask in these imaginations,

Making my body vibrate with excitement;

Making my heart flutter with joy;

Making my soul soak in contentment…

 

The time passes…

The promised day never arrives,

As the day was never special to begin with.

Because it was just another passing day.

As the reality sinks in,

My body shudders with pain,

My soul is crushed to powder & blown away

In the thunderstorm of my emotions

And I’m left with nothing but emptiness.

 

And, that’s when I realized

It wasn’t the actual happiness,

But the hope for it that lit up the life.

When the longing ends, 

There is no other possibility than reality.

For those who long,

There is still hope.

The moment one stops to long,

The life ceases to exist;

It would be an endless bleak…

 

-Panchami Kabbinahitlu