Posts

Way too much!!

Image
She feels like her insides are rotten now, The darkness that surrounds her is getting darker with each passing seconds, Along with the intensity of numbness in her heart! She is giving up on the things slowly, unnoticeably!! She always felt way too much, Smallest things made her happy, And slightest change hurt her. Though happiest things were shared multiple times, When pain only pierced her in silence; All of it was being stacked inside her, And the tears were buried ruthlessly. All alone, almost everytime!! May be silence makes it worse. It happened so many times already that It became a habit, More like a Lifestyle!  She was immuned to the small doses of pain, The kind of doses that increased each time she takes in... Good thing was that this immunity made the pain feel less painful!! The desire of being accepted  Drove her to perfectionism; Which constantly fueled her insecurities!! In this long exhaustive process confident girl inside her was lost, Anxiousness took over rationali
Post a Comment
Read more

STRANGER

Image
  It hurts a lot when I realize that I’m no longer the ‘I’ whom I knew… The epiphany comes at the most unexpected moments Perhaps at the worst time? The untimely realization leaves me with nothing but wonders. I ponder how things had been by trying to remember the moments that I forgot with effort. I succeed in helping myself only with tidbits of memory, About which I’m no longer certain… It just feels like a nightmare or a dream… It just feels like a story once I’ve been told… And I wonder, How things once were so important to me are just ‘NOTHING’ today… For a second, I think the effort to forget had paid off… But, No! It was completely futile, Because had I not put the effort to forget, I would have forgotten the things altogether… So, now I’m making an effort To just let the things be… To let the time do its job To meet the strangers around as well as within… -Panchami Kabbinahitlu
Post a Comment
Read more

A Chance to Apologize

Image
  There he stands again with a bouquet of daisies that he could never give… He was too late to get a chance to apologize… Only teardrops were left to decorate that lifeless face; Does he even deserve to stand there?! He was blind to all the longings in the other’s eyes; He was deaf to all the pleadings; He was dumb when he was supposed to speak up for the other; He was the one who mercilessly walked away Leaving the other helpless, Taking away the sole reason to survive! His life changed forever at that moment… The pages of the calendar keep turning, But the page in the Book of Life never changed; There is no color left to ink the pages… The blue that dawned upon never vanished; The season remained the same Without the warmth of the sun, Without the sweet aroma of blossoms, Without the lullaby of birds, Without the colorful butterflies… Fate was so cruel to him that, Even the magic of time didn’t work on him Everything is as vivid as if it just
Post a Comment
Read more

One-sided!

Image
  I don’t know how people talk so easily; Say everything they think, With the words that feel just right! I can’t do this thing that everyone else can do; So I chose poetries, I chose photographs, And some paragraphs!! I silently listened to every word you say And noted down the things you loved, I excitedly learned about them, So that we can talk more, Hoping to spend some more time with you…   I used to smile just hearing your name, I used to be happy at the thought of your existence, I used to jump out of joy at your excitement, I used to not miss any minute expressions you make, I used to get curious about your curiosities!!   I thought we were close enough When we gave nicknames to each other, When we teased each other, When we trusted each other When you cried on my shoulder, When you started to share all your victories first with me, When we shared our silence quietly away from everyone Just us!! At all of those moments I trust
Post a Comment
Read more

Heartless Me…

Image
You said nothing… Even your eyes were unwilling to speak. A layer of water was shielding me From looking into the depth of your eyes. The uneven breathing, The trembling lips, I could see them all… The tightened grip of your hand could be felt turning numb.   I had failed you… You tried to grow roses in the desert; You tried to fill the empty can with nectar; You tried to warm my heart But I dried up the warmth of your heart And turned it into ice cold; Yet it is as pure as ever But sharp like a diamond. I failed you…   It is not easy to let go The hands that reached out to me; It is not easy to turn my back to Someone who paved my path; It is not easy to just walk away… But I have to walk away To liberate you, To liberate myself.   As I slowly walk away, You are standing there like a stone. I dare not to have a last glance For the fear of not letting you go, To tie and pull you along with me And turn you into a mons
Post a Comment
Read more

UNFORGETTABLE MELODY…

Image
   In the night filled with stars I could only see the darkness… You were beside me; The aroma of your cologne filled the air The silence of the night broken Only by our breathing… As your hands hold mine, I could feel the warmth… I could no longer hold in the bottled-up emotions. I broke and cried like a baby; You said nothing; You silently reached out And held me in your arms… I don’t know how long I sobbed Just lying my face against your chest… The rhythm of the heartbeat Spoke more than words could ever… All the worries forgotten, I just continue to stay there Wishing the moment to never end… Till today the sound resonates in my ears As if the melody of a sweet song…   -Panchami Kabbinahitlu
Post a Comment
Read more

Let It Be...

Image
 Don't let it go; The dark crumpled memories, That you hid in the deepest burrow of your mind. Don't let it fade; The scar of deep stabs that never healed. Don't let it stop; The deafening echoes that never left the chambers of your soul. Don't let it sink; The deadweight sack of thoughts into the sea of debris.     Let the mind remind...     Let the wound bleed...     Let the pain be felt...     Let the soul fight... So that, One day, when everything is over, Your victory doesn't become a trivia But a real triumph. So that, You have the reason to celebrate...                     - Panchami Kabbinahitlu
Post a Comment
Read more

Trapped

Image
They are all trapped inside themselves,  where  there are no doors to escape, there are no windows for light there are no paths that are straight! They wander around the wall of their insides; feeling like a Pandora Box Full of sadness, badluck!! All are hurt and are in pain And all of them have their own reasoons; Getting what they don't want  or not getting what they want... WANTS?! Are insides made of these 'wants'? Desires of happiness, success, fame, money? No space for life?? They are trapped inside themselves and thrive to survive each day... Surviving through each day is becoming life, Finally, some of them realised this, Soon the found this light of life in the heart; Walls collapsed, They are not trapped anymore, They are outside now Growing and glowing every second! Still, other souls are yet to find the hope that can light the path to life outside... No one can help, but themselves for those who are still trapped!! - Pallavi Kabbinahithlu
Post a Comment
Read more

Homeless

Image
He waits for her all day, Just like every day... Sitting on the seashore, Letting the breeze kiss him, Counting every second that passes, Looking at the sun, crawling down to the west, He wishes if time could pass a little faster, So that he can see her! Waiting quietly is one hell of a thing! Hours pass; Stars shine above the sky, The crescent moon moves faster than usual, She never appears! She is the only comfort left in his life; She is the HOME he always wanted, The home that he never had before! She is the flower in his deserted heart, The warmth that melts his frozen tears, She is his reason to LIVE ON... But this evening she doesn't come?! He keeps on waiting, With love, care, and secrets in his heart, Which he wants to share with ONLY her, She simply doesn't show up! He keeps waiting, Alone at the seashore, Feeling cold, Wandering through darkness, Feeling lonely! The sun rises, light spreads all around, Except for him! Tears roll down his cheeks, He stands up and walk
Post a Comment
Read more

Routine!

Image
She smiled while peeking outside the closed window Of her closed room… Then she sighed; Thought to herself, this should be enough To show the world That she is fine by herself. She took a deep breath And opened the window, AND THEN SHE SMILED Only LAUGHED rolling over! Everyone saw her HAPPY; Show was over As usual,  she closed the window; NOW, She looks lifeless Crying her eyes out, she lay on the bed and went to sleep. Next day morning, She smiled again!! When she opened the window that day, She danced-hoped-sung with everyone; EVERYONE saw her HAPPY Then she closed her window, And turned off the lights, Laying down on the bed, Resting her head on the wet pillow Neither crying nor sleeping… Her eyes wandered through the darkness, Where no one can see her, And she can’t find anyone!! -Pallavi Kabbinahithlu    
1 comment
Read more

ಬೆಳೆಯುತಿದ್ದೇವೆ ಎಂದರೆ ಅಳಿಯುತ್ತಿರುವುದಲ್ಲವೇ?!

Image
ಮಾನವನಿಗೆ ಬದುಕಿನ ಪಾಠ ಹೇಳಿಕೊಡುವುದರಲ್ಲಿ ಪ್ರಕೃತಿಯ ಸರಿಸಮಾನರು ಯಾರೂ ಇಲ್ಲ. ಚಳಿಗಾಲದಲ್ಲಿ ಹೊಸ ಚಿಗುರಿನ ಹುಟ್ಟಿಗೆ ಅವಕಾಶ ನೀಡಬೇಕೆಂದು ಹಳೆ ಎಲೆಗಳಲ್ಲಾ ಉದುರುತ್ತವೆ. ಮರ ಬದಲಾಗಲಿಲ್ಲ ಎಂದುಕೊಂಡರೂ ಎಲೆಗಳೆಲ್ಲಾ ಬದಲಾಗುತ್ತವೆ; ಎಲೆಗಳು ಹೀರುವ ಬಿಸಿಲು, ಗಾಳಿಯೂ ಬದಲಾಗುತ್ತದೆ. ಆಗ ನೆರಳೂ ಹೊಸತು, ಅದರ ತಂಪೂ ಹೊಸತು. ಒಂದಿಷ್ಟನ್ನು ಕಳೆದುಕೊಂಡು, ಮತ್ತೊಂದಿಷ್ಟನ್ನು ಪಡೆದುಕೊಂಡು ಬದಲಾಗುವುದೇ ಬದುಕಲ್ಲವೇನು? ಬದಲಾವಣೆ ಬಾಳುತಿದ್ದೇವೆ ಎನ್ನುವುದರ ಸಂಕೇತ. ಉಸಿರೆಳೆದಷ್ಟು ಬಾರಿ ಮನುಜ ಬದಲಾಗಿದ್ದಾನೆ ಎನ್ನುವ ವಿಷಯ ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಸಹಜ ಸತ್ಯವೇ ಆದರೂ ಅಚ್ಚರಿಯುಂಟು ಮಾಡದಿರದು. ಒಂದೊಂದು ಕ್ಷಣ ಕೈ ಜಾರಿದಂತೆ 'ನಾನಿರುವುದೇ ಹೀಗೆ' ಎನ್ನುವುದರಲ್ಲಿನ  'ಹೀಗೆ'ಯ ವ್ಯಾಖ್ಯಾನ ಬದಲಾಗುತ್ತದೆ. ಇದೇ ಬೆಳವಣಿಗೆ ಅಲ್ವೇ?! 'ಕಲಿಯುವ ಮನಸಿದ್ದರೆ ನಿಮಗೆ ಕಲಿಸುವುದು ಕಲ್ಲಿನ ಗೊಂಬೆ '. ಇದು ಒಂದೆರಡು ವರ್ಷಗಳ ಹಿಂದೆ ಹಿರಿಯರೊಬ್ಬರು ಹೇಳಿದ ಮಾತು. ಇದು ನನ್ನ ಮೇಲೆ ಬೀರಿದ ಪ್ರಭಾವ ಅಗಾಧ. ಇದು ನನ್ನಿಂದ ಅಸಾಧ್ಯ ಎಂಬ ಭಾವ ಕಾಡಿದಾಗಲೆಲ್ಲಾ ಈ ಕಿವಿಮಾತು ಕೈ ಹಿಡಿದು ನಡೆಸಿದ್ದದ್ದುಂಟು. ಹೀಗೆ ಮುಂದೆ ನಡೆದದ್ದರಿಂದ ನಾನೇ ಅಚ್ಚರಿಪಡುವಂತೆ ಬೆಳೆದದ್ದುಂಟು! ಇಂತಹ ಬೆಳೆವು ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಸಂತಸಕ್ಕೆ ಕಾರಣವಾದರೂ ಅದರಲ್ಲಿ ನಾನಂದುಕೊಂಡ 'ನನ್ನತನ' ಚೂರು ಚೂರೇ ಅಳಿಯುವ ನೋವು ಕೆಣಕದೆ ಉಳಿಯುವುದಿಲ್ಲ. ಈ ಅಸ್ತಿ
Post a Comment
Read more