Craving the unknown

Only if I could tell you,

How long I've been craving for you,

Even before I could name it,

Even before I realised it,

I've been craving.

I've craved for so long that,

I don't know a time I didn't;

I don't know how not to...

I've craved you,

Even before I knew your name;

Even before I knew your existence!

I've always craved you...

I'm no mason,

But, I've been building your shrine,

Brick by brick with mortar of my flesh,

Where I could stand bare, 

And worship you with truest self

And sing the hymns of yearning

And selfishly, pathetically beg,

Even for just a part of you.

Only if I could dare to tell you...

I'm no artist,

But,Even with stolen glances alone,

I can blindly retrace those

sparkling beads of your eyes,

that are like twin ponds,

that gravitate me to the endless depth,

In which I would willingly drown myself,

Even knowing there is no return...

Only if I dared to tell you...

I would create new words

For they would fall short to fill the pages;

I would create new colours

To fill the canvas of your beauty;

I would create new notes,

To mimic the melody of your laugh;

Only if I could...

But, I would dare not.

I would rather be a hopeless 

Than daring to be brave.

I would rather not say hello at all,

Than part ways with no goodbyes.

I would rather not cross path at all,

Than being a mere passerby.

I would rather crave for lifetime

Than have a mere taste.

I would rather live with sweet fantasy

Than tinting it with bitter reality.

I would rather grieve what could've been 

Than lose what once was...

 

       -Panchami Kabbinahitlu